He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
is this the sara with the beer cane?
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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