I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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