at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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