Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
