We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
