I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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