Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
