How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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