i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
