how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
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