Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
