That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
We have started to decorate penises.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Randomize
