Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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