what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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