She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
