And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
