K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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