I love black thongs
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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