dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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