I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
