Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
