Porn is love you can see.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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