i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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