We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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