we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
