found the other keg... it's in the tree
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
