Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
