you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I enjoy the company of your penis
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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