i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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