yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Randomize
