Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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