That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
