It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
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