Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Is it penis luge time yet?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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