i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
