omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
