Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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