I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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