not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
