We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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