We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
