Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
