Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
