she was so not down for the gang bang
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Randomize
