she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
