sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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