for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
