Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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