Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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