I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
