hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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