Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
