I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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