First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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