there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
