I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
