I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
