Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
