That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
