Swine flu. Run for my life!
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
