i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
