Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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