We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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