ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize
