i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
